"There is no one formula in marriage". This is a very common saying when it comes to marriage issues and making marriages work. When people talk of formula in Marriage, I get a bit confused because I know that marriage is not Mathematics, Physics, Chemistry or Economics where you apply formula. Most formulas are founded by some people to solve or find answers and solutions to potential problems. When you see marriage as a problem then you will need to look for formulas to solve it. Marriages aren't a bed of roses and neither are they a bed of thorns either... Having been in this institution of constant learning I have come to realise from Experience that there is no fool proof formula to happy marriages.
When you see marriage as a home you intend to move into and live peacefully for the rest of your life, all you will look for will be items to beautify the home, remove items that wouldn't fit (attitude) change positions of furniture and items (responses to actions in the form of adjustment) to make it really comfortable. When you talk of formula, how do you know which works for you without trying almost all of them? Who formulated the formulas you are applying or trying to apply? How many formulas do you have to use and for how long to get it right in your marriage?
One thing that separates a home from a house is that a house is just a shelter, there is nothing dictating that you feel welcome or at ease in it, there is no closure, there is no real sense of you belonging in it. Sure it could be your house but a home welcomes you. A home is a place that comes with the soothing effects of a thousand hugs. A home gives you a place you can go to find peace, sure the walls of a house are reassuring but peace like that isn't as cold as a wall or forced conversations. Don't struggle with formulas just to build a house and leave the home out of it.
Think of Marriage like a university certification that you are given right at the start and then given a chance to learn everyday to prove you deserve the certificate you are awarded. Take the time to pay attention to the courses and learn the lessons, don't just cram your way through or cheat, you will lose in the end.
Some keep trying different formulas and end up bruising themselves in the process and by the time they feel they have gotten the right formula, so many hurts and pains have been experienced in the marriage. Then the issues of trust and forgiveness for all experiments tried, raise ugly heads. Marriage I believe, is all about PERCEPTION. It depends on how you perceive it to be. Its an institution that requires hard work, selflessness, respect and commitments. A constant factor in all of these however is LOVE. I believe you cannot be together if there is no love at all in the first place. There must be at least tintinni (minute) love that must be nurtured with good perception to grow or killed with using the wrong formula over the years.
When you see marriage as a home you intend to move into and live peacefully for the rest of your life, all you will look for will be items to beautify the home, remove items that wouldn't fit (attitude) change positions of furniture and items (responses to actions in the form of adjustment) to make it really comfortable. When you talk of formula, how do you know which works for you without trying almost all of them? Who formulated the formulas you are applying or trying to apply? How many formulas do you have to use and for how long to get it right in your marriage?
One thing that separates a home from a house is that a house is just a shelter, there is nothing dictating that you feel welcome or at ease in it, there is no closure, there is no real sense of you belonging in it. Sure it could be your house but a home welcomes you. A home is a place that comes with the soothing effects of a thousand hugs. A home gives you a place you can go to find peace, sure the walls of a house are reassuring but peace like that isn't as cold as a wall or forced conversations. Don't struggle with formulas just to build a house and leave the home out of it.
Think of Marriage like a university certification that you are given right at the start and then given a chance to learn everyday to prove you deserve the certificate you are awarded. Take the time to pay attention to the courses and learn the lessons, don't just cram your way through or cheat, you will lose in the end.
Some keep trying different formulas and end up bruising themselves in the process and by the time they feel they have gotten the right formula, so many hurts and pains have been experienced in the marriage. Then the issues of trust and forgiveness for all experiments tried, raise ugly heads. Marriage I believe, is all about PERCEPTION. It depends on how you perceive it to be. Its an institution that requires hard work, selflessness, respect and commitments. A constant factor in all of these however is LOVE. I believe you cannot be together if there is no love at all in the first place. There must be at least tintinni (minute) love that must be nurtured with good perception to grow or killed with using the wrong formula over the years.
Comments
Post a Comment